Friday, April 14, 2006

roller coaster

So it seems I'm on the top of the hill again on the roller coaster of my life. I can see the whole amusement park from here. And that's what the world is, isn't it? Just a great big amusement park. There are haunted houses that terrify you and fun houses that make you feel like nothing is really what it seems, roller coasters that feel completely out of control and, merry go rounds that spin you around so quickly that you feel like you're going to be sick. My life is a roller coaster with lots of loops and turns. But like I said, I'm at the top of the hill and the thrilling dive is coming. The long, slow rise to the top is over, and this is the moment to sit on the edge, looking down, waiting for the exciting part. My boss told me the other day that I needed to work on being "in the moment." Since the beginning of the year, I've been somewhere else all the time and haven't really been "in the moment." But right now, on the top of the hill, I feel more "in the moment" than I have ever been in my life. It might feel out of control sometimes, but my life is on track. And nothing is going to knock me off that track. Though I can't see the path ahead, I know I'm poised on the edge of something big. And that's exciting.

Reason to Live

What is the meaning of life?
I've asked myself so many times
Is there a reason I'm here?
I wish someone would make it clear
'Cause I'm living from day to day, feeling so far away
Maybe I'm not as sane as I thought
Keeping my eyes on You is something I've gotta do
Even when I don't feel like it

I won't give up, I won't give in
I'm ready for my life to start again
I won't back down, I'll stand my ground
The time is now to show the love I've found
I've got a reason to breathe, I've got the freedom to stand
The future is mine, I'll give it all I can
To break down the walls that hold me in
It's my reason to live

My reason to wake up every day and bless Your name
In the crush of this crazy mixed up world
Only You have stayed the same
I know I have a place here in amazing grace
Forever safe, forever sound
Time after time I see You are the best in me
You're everything I'm chasing after
Listen as the walls fall down
Hear the nations calling out


  1. I once called my divorce "the mother of all spin and puke rides". Life *is* like an amusement park.

  2. I could actually describe my divorce the same way. Although it was really more like a fun house. Nothing was what it seemed...