Friday, March 31, 2006

Got the cast

Today I went to the doc and got the cast put on. It's so much nicer than the splint. In two weeks I can start putting weight on the ankle, so I still have two weeks on the crutches. But I think I'm getting used to them now, so it's not quite as bad. The cast is blue, almost matches my car. And if you know me, you know that's important, lol.

I also managed to get my tag transferred today, which is something I've needed to do for two weeks. Glad I got that done.

So overall, it was a productive day off. When I finally got home in the afternoon, I just decided to relax the rest of the day, and that's what I did. It was great. Sometimes you just have to take time off to take care of things.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Deep Thoughts... by Anita

I had a thought this afternoon, based on several things I read today and conversations I had with people, and I thought I would share it with everyone.

On the buffet of life, don't settle for the Jello salad. (unless that's what you really, really want)

Another one... I frequent a message board where, in the general discussion section, there were quite a few people bowing down to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. If you don't know what that is, just google it and you'll get lots of info. I promise. Well, being a Christian and being the kind of person who likes to find humor in everything, I decided to counter the rising popularity of the FSM by designing a couple of products on I'm not sure when I'll be able to do this, but one day I will. The first product will say "My God ate your Flying Spaghetti Monster" and will include a picture with the FSM on a fork. The other will say "And on the 8th day, God created the Flying Spaghetti Monster. And He saw that it was good. So He ate it." Again, with the FSM on a fork. Hey, if they can make fun of my faith, I can make fun of their joke, right? What kind of world would it be if we didn't laugh at ourselves (and others) sometimes? Anyway, I'm certain nobody but me will buy the products, but I want to make them just for fun. Of course, nobody down here would get it and they would just think I'm crazy, but that's okay too.

Or maybe that's just the Lortab talking... (maybe this entire post is just the Lortab talking... I've got to get better so I can stop taking those things... they make me loopy)

Another blogging lunch break

So today I'm having Arby's and blogging in between bites of curly cheese fries. Yummm....

Things are going really, really well with the fundraiser. It's all starting to come together. I'm really glad, because it was really starting to stress me out. Other than that, nothing really huge is going on.

Yesterday evening I watched a video clip of the solar eclipse. It was really cool. I wonder when we will have another one here. I read somewhere that the next total solar eclipse would be in 2008 but it didn't say where the path of totality would be, so I'm curious. If anyone knows, tell me!!! I remember seeing one when I was in 3rd grade. It was pretty exciting. I'm such a nerd, but I'm really fascinated by stuff like that.

Anyway, things are getting better after my little outburst last night about needing peace. I think everything is going to be okay. Chris called me this afternoon, and hearing a friendly voice was really helpful. It was great. We talked while we were both on lunch break. I'm telling you, lunch break is the best thing ever!

Well, it's about time to wrap this up. I'll probably write more tonight.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

no. more. stress.

I want to be here. On a boat in the middle of the water with no way for anyone to get in touch with me. I want to be away from ringing phones and demands from everyone. I want a break from life, just for a moment.

For just a moment, I want calm, silence, and peace. I wonder if that will be possible anytime in the near future. If it is not, I may just lose it. And I really don't want that to happen.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Lunch breaks are cool

I'm sitting at my desk, scarfing down a grilled chicken sandwich and blogging. What could be better? I woke up this morning not really feeling well, but I decided to go to work anyway. The fundraiser is coming closer and closer and I don't have time to be sick. I'm actually very glad I did come on in, though, because I got a great volunteer today who has been working the phones like you wouldn't believe! It's great to have someone working on making those calls so that I can be free to do the grants I've been trying to get to. It's a little sad when your "to do" list is over two pages long and you don't even know where to begin. However, it doesn't change how I feel about my job. I absolutely love working here and wouldn't trade my experiences here for the world. We're planning some very interesting things in the future, to hopefully help with disaster relief if we get any hurricanes this year. I'm looking forward to seeing how these plans work out, even if we don't have to implement them this year (which I'm hoping will be the case because we don't need a hurricane this year, we're still recovering from Katrina)

I'm going to the doctor on Friday. Did I mention that before? Hopefully he'll give me a walking cast. When I'm finished with the doctor I'm going to get my car tag transferred. I'm looking forward to getting that taken care of so I don't have to worry about it anymore.

Anyway, that's about all I can write on my lunch break. Perhaps I'll come back soon and write some more. Before I go, I'll give you a few links I think are cool. They are the sites for the artists whose CDs I just purchased. (I know that was some really interesting sentence structure, but oh well, lol)

Relient K

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Buffy season 7

I havent watched the episodes of season 7 since they aired. So when I bought the DVD set and watched the episodes this weekend, it was almost like watching new episodes. I had forgotten how incredible the last few episodes of Buffy were. This isn't going to be a detailed review, but I just have to say, watching Buffy from start to finish is an experience like no other. Watching the overall arc of the show, seeing how they bring it back full circle is just amazing. It makes the writer in me very jealous of the talent and creativity involved in making this show. And it makes the fan in me wish for more. Joss Whedon says there may be a Spike TV movie at some point, and I'm hoping for that, because I want to check back in with these characters sometime soon.

So check out Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the show, not the movie) on DVD if you want to see what the fuss is about. You will not regret it.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Life in the extremely slow lane

It is soooo hard to get around when you have only one working leg. The crutches are impossible and even using a wheelchair is inconvenient and miserable. I went to Wal-Mart today with my parents and was completely exhausted when it was over. On the bright side, I bought several great new CDs.

My leg hurts worse today than it has since the day I hurt it. It feels like it's on fire or something. I'm not sure if that means it's healing or if I've somehow damaged it further. I really hope it's the first one. I've been so careful not to hurt it more. Of course, Hannah sat on it this afternoon by accident. Ouch. Seriously, the thing I want to do more than anything in the world is to go to sleep and not wake up until my ankle is healed and I can walk again. But I'd probably wake up to no job if I did that. And that would be bad. So I continue on with my life, doing things very, very slowly.

I'm going to close with the lyrics to a song from one of my new CDs. It's called "Scream" and it's by ZOEgirl. What an awesome group. And this is an awesome song.

Does anybody know how I feel?
Sometimes I'm numb, sometimes I'm overcome
Does anybody care what's going on?
Do I have to wear my scars like a badge on my arm
For you to see me, I need release

Do I have to scream for you to hear me?
Do I have to bleed for you to see me?
‘Cause I grieve, you're not listening to me
Do I need to scream?

Has anybody seen what's been done?
Where was my defense? No one heard my protest
The eyes of God were watching me
It's time to make my peace, let it go and be released
So I can breathe again
I'm on my knees

Do I have to scream for you to hear me?
Do I have to bleed for you to see me?
‘Cause I grieve, you're not listening to me
Do I have to scream?

I've been marked, set apart
But I'm cut so deep and afraid of the dark
One drop of blood from the hole in Your hand
Is enough to heal me and make me stand
‘Cause I'm clean, He is listening to me

I don't have to scream for Him to hear me
Don't have to bleed for Him to see me
‘Cause I'm clean, He is listening to me
I don't have to scream
I don't have to bleed
‘Cause I'm clean, He is listening
And I don't have to scream

Thursday, March 23, 2006

So here it is...

I know I said I would post this a few days ago, but I didn't manage to take the picture until today. I wish I had been able to get the pic in the sunlight rather than the shadow of my house. It's even prettier in the sunlight. But anyway, here it is...

Isn't it cute? I'm pretty sure Gonzo is the correct name. Although a coworker said she thought Smurfette would be cute too.

Okay, enough car talk. I'm sure everyone is sick to death of hearing about my new car.

So things at work are getting crazy. Lots of grants to write and Chef Challenge is looming in the distance. Actually, not in the distance at all. The event is May 2, which means it's coming up really quickly! We got a lot done on it today, along with several other things I had to take care of. I'm really glad tomorrow is Friday, though. I plan to spend the entire weekend resting and not trying to use the crutches. I have a system inside my house. I can get around using rolling desk chairs, so that when I get inside the house I don't have to use the crutches until I leave the house again. I look really silly doing it, but at least I don't have to use the hated crutches.

Well, it looks like the Lortab is kicking in, so I'm going to close this before I start talking nonsense. If there are spelling errors in this post, please forgive them. Chalk it up to the drug-induced haze...

Monday, March 20, 2006

Good News/Bad News

I'm always the "bad news first" kind of person, so I'll jump right into it. Well, maybe that was a bad expression to use.

I broke my ankle yesterday. Falling down stairs is never fun. It's extra not-fun when you hear and feel the snap of your bone as you come down on it with all your weight. So here I am, 29 years old and using crutches to hobble around. It's really hard to maneuver with these things. I hope I get better at it soon. So yesterday I spent a good deal of my time in the emergency room waiting room, and today I spent several hours at the doc's office, waiting for him to tell me to come back in ten days for a cast. Luckily, it'll be a walking cast so I can get rid of the stupid crutches. They really are difficult to deal with. So now I have to deal with the pain and suffering of the ankle, the crutches, and the very large bump on my head from hitting either the wall or the floor (I'm really not sure because I was tumbling down so quickly I can't remember which thing my head actually hit)

But the good news? You want that now? I bought a new car. Yes, I traded in Kermit the Car for a shiny new muppet. I named him Gonzo because he's a beautiful bright blue, just like the muppet... and plus I have to keep with the theme. He's a Honda Civic with all the fun features that I like to play with (like a sunroof!!!) So now when I go to Rhea's house, the two Civics (Grover and Gonzo) can sit beside each other and be pretty together. (her Grover is a darker blue than my Gonzo) Anyway, I'll post a pic soon. I haven't taken one yet, but I plan to hobble out tomorrow morning and take one before I go to work. It will experience its first Interstate trip tomorrow when I take it to work. It'll be fun to see what it can do. So anyway, Kermit is now owned by the car dealership, and I feel a little sad about getting rid of the first car I ever purchased by myself. There are a lot of memories in that car. My favorite? Driving to Disney World with my parents and Noah on the day he graduated from Kindergarten. He was so proud and happy! We sat in the back and watched DVDs on my laptop half the way, and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. Then when we stopped to switch drivers and I took the wheel, he slept on my mom's lap the rest of the way. It was so sweet. But anyway, even though I feel a little sad about letting Kermit go, it was time to do it and I'm really happy about Gonzo. It was a great purchase and it will be a great car, with many new memories (taking Hannah and Kohl to Disney World in a couple of years...) and many years to enjoy it. And enjoy it I will!

So anyway, it's been sort of a strange couple of days. Good news/bad news... that's the way life goes, isn't it? ;)

Friday, March 17, 2006

One reason I love Alabama

So it may have its drawbacks, but look at how pretty this is. I took this out the window of a van, somewhere around Coffeeville, coming back from my disaster volunteers meeting in Butler, Alabama this week. Although there may be buildings, subdivisions, and other development around it, there is still some natural beauty to be seen in Alabama. It's something I hope we never lose completely. Alabama really is a pretty place. I used to hate living here, but as I've gotten older, I've come to really appreciate the Southern lifestyle. We're a lot more advanced and progressive than people think, and we really do have a lot to offer. My hometown is having its annual Arts and Crafts festival this weekend and I can't wait to go. I'll take some pics and post them, I'm sure. It's my favorite Springtime event, and every year it just gets better. Who knows, this year I may even buy something! :)

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I hope everyone thought to wear green today. I did... even my blog decided to wear green for this very special post! I'll write more later, but I wanted to wish everyone a happy day. It's another beautiful day in South Alabama. I'll post some pictures later.

But for now... Happy St. Patrick's Day! Even if you're not Irish, you can still celebrate.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Lots of stuff...

I was just watching Law and Order: SVU and they previewed next week's new episode. It appears that the victim took a picture of her killer with her camera phone. So that makes me really glad I just bought a camera phone, lol. Of course, I don't know that I would have the presence of mind to actually take a picture while being murdered. Let's hope we never have to find out.

I went to a disaster response meeting today, in preparation for this year's hurricane season. It starts June 1, which is only 2 months and 17 days away. Yes, I'm counting. Down here, you can see how afraid everyone is. There's this sort of fear in their eyes that I've never really seen before. People who were once easy going are tense. Like me, for example. I've always been very casual about hurricane season, but this year I'm terrified. I guess because now I've seen what storms can really do and I don't ever want to see it again. Here's hoping, anyway.

I was going to go to an audition this evening, for a local community theater's spring musical. But I developed a migraine this afternoon and it hadn't gone away by the time I needed to leave for the auditions, so I passed. It was the last day of the auditions, so I'm just going to have to wait until next year. I hate that, though, because I really miss being on stage, especially singing on stage. (what I wouldn't give to play Elphaba in Wicked!)

There's an extremely important decision in my future, and I'm trying to figure out what to do about it. Luckily, I've been blessed with great friends who have given me lots of advice. I think I've decided what to do for now, but in the future there may be an even bigger decision. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it, though. For now, I've made a preliminary choice and I'm going to go with it. For now.

Still haven't purchased a new car, but the research is almost over. I had a nice time this evening customizing some cars on the various Web sites, some I could afford and some just for fun. I think I've narrowed it down to a few models, and the top of the list so far is the Honda Civic sedan. I'd really like the two-door sporty version, but I think the sedan makes more sense. I can't get the blue one because that's what Rhea has, and they don't have a good green one (which is sort of my signature color now) so I'm thinking black (even though it gets really hot down here) or maybe silver. I'm afraid silver will be like white, though, and will show dirt really easily. Considering the time I don't have to wash my car, I need something that will sort of blend with the dust from the road, lol. I'd really like to go with the red one. It's not candy-apple red, but more of a dark red.. very classy.. but I've heard that makes your insurance higher. Which is stupid, in my opinion. Has anyone noticed that I seem to have a lot of opinions? That's just me... lol...

That's all I can think of for now, except for the fact that there is still no place to live in Mobile and my commute is really becoming a pain. I think half the motorists in the morning are still half asleep when they drive across the Bayway. I know I am... lol... (not really)

Well, time for bed. Thanks for reading my completely random rants/thoughts.

Monday, March 13, 2006


I promised some pictures of the pretty spring that we are having, so here's one now! It's from my front lawn, which is currently an explosion of pink and white flowers. Eventually I'm going to go out and take some pictures of the lovely wisteria, which is actually my favorite. We only have a little of wisteria in my yard, so I'll have to find a place with lots! Of course, during this time of year, it's not difficult to find. Oh, and the sweet olive tree outside my window is blooming. It smells so good! I honestly believe it is the most wonderful scent in the world. I must find it in a bottle... maybe someone made it into perfume. If anyone knows, please tell me!! I love this time of year...

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Another gorgeous day!!

Today was another incredible day here in the South. I met up with Chris today. He was in town this weekend but our schedules were not free until today. But it was the perfect day to spend a little time outdoors with a friend. We went to lunch and drove around a little. Then we sat on the grass near the Bay and just talked for a long time. It was great. I miss that so much! The cool thing about Chris is that he and I can talk about pretty much anything. The first picture is the view from where we were sitting. Isn't it pretty? The next pic is of Chris, checking his phone for a text message. After we left the Bay we went to The Coffee Loft for smoothies (yum!) and then to Punta Clara Kitchen for some candy. I got sugar-coated pecans.. they are soooo good!!! Chris is gone now, on his way back home, but it really was a perfect day. I'm sure there will be many more.

Hello and welcome, visitors!

I've noticed several new visitors to this blog and I just want to take the time to say welcome! I'd love a comment or two, if you have time. And, if you have a blog, I'd love to visit it! I love reading other people's random thoughts... so if you do happen upon my humble blog and you feel comfortable doing so, please leave a comment and point me to your blog / live journal / myspace / yahoo 360 or whatever you have so I can check it out. I'll even link you if you want. I love adding to my BlogRoll. Oh, and speaking of BlogRolls, if anyone can tell me how to use BlogRolling in my sidebar, I'd appreciate a few tips. I signed up and have the code all ready, but every time I try to use it, I end up destroying my whole template. I'm hopeless when it comes to code! Of course, I've learned a lot since I started blogging. I had no idea how to add links or manipulate code to change colors before I started this. So it's been a great learning experience, and I intend to keep it up for as long as I can!

But anyway, the purpose of this post was to welcome visitors and encourage you to leave comments! I'd love to hear from you!

Saturday, March 11, 2006


So I've discovered something remarkable. I wonder why I haven't found it before. Milblogging is a great site to find blogs written by soldiers. I spent a great deal of time reading some of them and they are fascinating. I'm particularly interested in the ones who are currently in Iraq. Of course, they can't give details because it would be bad for security, but the things they talk about, their daily lives while over there, are so interesting. Check them out, you will really enjoy the perspective, I think.

Friday, March 10, 2006


I bought the book PostSecret yesterday and it's amazing. I haven't sent in a secret myself, but I'm considering it. Not sure what it would be. I thought about it last night before I went to bed, and then visions of the postcards I could send in floated in and out of my dreams. Not that I have a lot of secrets, but there are things about me and my life that nobody knows. Some are amusing, some are humiliating, some are a little sad. So I guess I need to decide if I really want to share any of those with the world.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go to the PostSecret site and see what it's all about. And go buy the book, PostSecret, at any bookstore. Some of the proceeds of the book sales go to the National Hopeline Network (1-800-SUICIDE) This is a 24 hour hotline for anyone who is thinking about suicide, or knows someone who may be thinking about it. (I can tell you that my secret would not be related to that particular cause, but I think it's a good one that is worth supporting.)

Thursday, March 09, 2006

A joke that got out of hand??

Okay, I don't believe the Alabama church fires were a joke that got out of hand. I just don't buy that for one minute. You know what? It's a hate crime. Those kids should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law and should be charged for a hate crime. And I don't care what anyone says about it. You don't set fire to that many buildings as a joke, no matter what kind of buildings they are. But churches? When someone targets a church, they are targeting the people who go to that church. And targeting someone for their religious beliefs is a hate crime. I can't say that enough. It's a hate crime. (I think it's fairly obvious where I stand on this issue, lol)

So anyway, here's the news story, or you can read it below.

Three college students arrested in Alabama church arsons

Federal agents said the defendants claimed the first few fires were set as "a joke" and the others were started to throw investigators off the track.

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (AP) - Three college students were arrested early today in a string of nine rural Alabama church arsons that one suspect claims were set first as "a joke" and later as a diversion that did not work.

Benjamin Nathan Moseley and Russell Lee DeBusk Junior, both 19-year-old theater students at Birmingham-Southern College, appeared in federal court this morning. A judge ordered both held on church arson charges pending a hearing Friday.

20-year-old Matthew Lee Cloyd was arrested several hours later. He is a junior at the University of Alabama at Birmingham who previously attended Birmingham-Southern. All three suspects are from suburban neighborhoods near Birmingham.

Alabama Congressman Artur Davis, whose district includes some of the burned churches, said he's hopeful -- quote -- "that this is the end to the fear that has been rampant in West Alabama."

The arrests come in a probe of arsons at five Baptist churches in Bibb County and four Baptist churches in west Alabama. The federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives had made the arsons its top priority.

An affidavit from an A-T-F agent presented at today's court appearance of Moseley and DeBusk said Moseley admitted to the arsons after his arrest.

Jim Parker, pastor of Ashby Baptist Church at Brierfield, a Bibb County church destroyed in the February third arson said the congregation has been apprehensive about whether the arsonists had some -- quote -- "political or religious agenda."

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Scary and sad

Okay, I just read something that frightens me and also makes me really sad. The tranquility of my wonderful town has been disturbed. Something has moved in without us knowing it, and we should not let it continue. You can find the article here, or read it below.

I am so upset about this. My sister lives near there. She has children. This has always been such a safe and happy place, especially for children. When I was growing up, we didn't know anything about drugs. And I'm not that old. Maybe it was there, but we didn't see it. I want my nephews and niece (and eventually my children) to know a world like I did, one without the threat of drugs and the violence that always accompanies drug use and abuse. Luckily, they are looking for a new house, hopefully one away from the water where this is happening. But that's not the answer. The answer is that we need to stop it from happening, for the sake of the children in our town, and for the sake of the future. So people along the water, keep your eyes open for suspicious activity and report it to the police.

March 07, 2006
An ongoing investigation of marine smuggling nets a million dollars worth of cocaine and 6 arrests, including 4 illegal aliens.

(POINT CLEAR, Ala) March 7 -- At their Bay front home, Nancy Marr says she wants to worry about fixing their hurricane damaged wharf, "Nothing really can match a sunset on Mobile Bay." and not much else. "Our blood pressure goes down when we sit out there and look at the sunset."

Now blood pressure is rising for many along the Bay as Dwight McDaniel with the Immigration and Customs Enforcement accuses six people of smuggling drugs. "There's a lot of threats on coastal waterways."On a 40 foot sail boat, 6 are arrested including 4 illegal aliens. Authorities say they have almost 40 pounds of cocaine, with a street value of one million dollars.It's a lot of money and Fairhope Police Chief Chris Browning says there are a lot of concerns, its not the 1st time. "I think if you catch your child stealing you've got to believe he's done it before then."

McDaniel says there are also concerns it won't be the last. "If somebody comes into our country with 36 pounds of cocaine and 4 illegal aliens it begs the question what else could they bring in."
Now McDaniel asking you, and asking Nancy Marr to look at more than sunsets. "We've got to be out there looking we've got to be vigilant."

Marr says it will be a new priority. "We certainly will be watching to see if we can stop anything or let anybody know we'll do that."

The water Marr grew up loving, is wrecking more than the wharf. She says with drugs and security concerns, "You kind of think you're safe from all of that." the easy access is throwing a wrench in an easy life.


I love this time of year. I'm going to have to take some pictures soon, so everyone living in areas that are still cold can be jealous. Today was spectacular. Not a cloud in the sky. I went out for lunch and ran an errand for work while I was out, and I loved every minute of being outside. I also loved being in my car with the windows down, singing loudly (and obnoxiously, I'm sure) to Toby Mac. I couldn't find my sunglasses, so it wasn't a perfect picture, but it was still fun. I love days like today.

Speaking of love, am I the only one who loved Reese Witherspoon's Oscar speech? My new motto is "I'm just trying to matter." What a great sentiment! And isn't that what we should do every day? We should all try to matter, whether it is on a grand scale or if we touch one life. I love that.

Nothing else to report, I'm afraid. Other than the fact that I got a new cell phone today, which was long overdue. My old phone was completely impossible. I didn't even like to talk on the phone because of it. So now, I'm going to rediscover the joys of talking on the phone, with my brand new toy. Now I just have to figure out how to use it...

Monday, March 06, 2006

Feeling better now

You know, when it rains, it pours. I got the rejection letter this weekend, and then promptly got sick. I started having sinus problems during the weekend and today was the worst. Headache, coughing, and I couldn't talk for most of the day. But thankfully, (and an extra-special thanks to Advil Cold and Sinus medicine) I'm feeling like a person again. Seriously, that stuff is a miracle in the form of gel-caps. So anyway, I spent today in a medicine-induced haze. But something else happened today, I realized that the way I was feeling about the rejection letter was just self-pity and completely nonproductive. So now it's over and I'm back in action. I've ordered a 2006 Writer's Market Guide and am going to jump right into the research as soon as I get it in the mail. According to, it'll be at my door in a couple of days. I hope it's sooner rather than later, because I've also ordered a gift that I really want to have before the day I'm supposed to have it. Is that vague enough, lol? There are a few significant birthdays coming up and I am horrible about waiting until the last minute to buy gifts. I think it's because I always want to buy the perfect thing, and so I have to really pay attention to people and what they say they want or need so I can get it for them. I don't know if this gift is going to be the perfect thing, but it will hopefully be a good one.

I'm constantly amazed by the way things work out in this world. Tonight I was on the phone with a dear friend, and he said something to me that was so moving, so sweet, and so amazing that I'm still smiling about it, 3 hours later. I won't go into detail because I know he would probably not like it, but I have to say.. you know who you are, you know what you said, and I really appreciate it. You really made my day, at a time when I needed it most. It's nice to know that people appreciate the values you work hard to live by, and that they notice that you do, indeed, live by them. It is especially amazing when the person who says something is someone who doesn't say things like that. So thank you, my friend. And the thing I admire most about you? You always make everyone around you happy, just by walking into a room. Your smile, your very presence, are gifts that you give to the world just by being you. Don't ever change, and promise me that we will always be friends.

So it's been a roller coaster lately, but that's the way it usually is for me. To everyone who has been so supportive, both online and in person, thank you so much. And a special thank you to Scott. I really believe I wouldn't have been able to deal with the rejection letter if I didn't have you to support me. Your attention and affection, especially this weekend, meant more to me than I could ever express. I am so lucky that you came into my life when you did, and I can't imagine life without you. I really hope I never have to. (okay, that got sappy, but I don't care)

I guess I'm feeling pretty sappy today. Maybe I'm still under the influence of the Advil Cold and Sinus medicine, lol. I'd better close this post before I start making no sense at all. I'll write more tomorrow.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Completely deflated

Well, I'm completely deflated. I got my first rejection letter yesterday. I feel as if someone close to me has died. Maybe I'm not cut out for this writing thing after all, if I take rejection this badly. Seriously, I cried for three hours last night. The worst part is, I only sent in a query letter and synopsis, and I got what is surely a form letter back from the editor telling me that I've outlined a fascinating project but that the writing is not quite strong enough for their publication company. But they didn't read any of the writing, because I didn't include it! Maybe my synopsis wasn't strong enough, but that's not the actual story. I guess I need to brush up on my synopsis-writing skills. And the thing that kills me is that if I had included the first 3 chapters, they would have seen that my writing is actually pretty strong. I've never felt so awful in my life. This was my first novel, my first attempt at getting something published, and while I was expecting the worst and hoping for the best, I was still completely crushed when I got the letter. I'm not really sure what to do next, but I can't give up on this story. So it's back to the drawing board, I suppose. Back to research and submitting to other publishers. Maybe I'll have better luck with someone else. Anyway, just had to vent a little.