To audition... or not to audition...

I love theatre.  I really do.  I became involved in theatre again after a 13-year hiatus in 2007 by auditioning for a play at Theatre 98.  From there, I worked or performed in nearly every play produced at that theatre for 3 years.  In addition to being on the board of directors and doing a play at another theatre at the same time.  Burn-out... it's nice to meet you.

I started doing theatre because I was lonely and bored.  I wanted to do something that would give me opportunities to meet new people and make new friends.  I wanted to have something to do in the evenings that was more exciting than going home and watching TV alone in my bedroom.  I was a few years out of school and into my career, and the job excitement was wearing off, so I needed something else - something new to stimulate my brain and my social muscles.  (does that sound dirty?  I don't mean for it to sound dirty, lol)

While most of the time, it was a beautiful and fun experience, there are, of course, some bad things about it.  The long hours, the late nights, memorizing lines and blocking, getting yelled at by angry and stressed out directors, etc.  And sometimes the social aspect of it is a little... seedy.

I feel like I should get involved again.  It really can be a lot of fun and there's a great show coming up that I think would be a blast.  But... I refer back to the bad things.  I'm just not sure I have the tolerance for it right now.  I'm very interested in eventually getting back to it, but right now, what I want most of all is to go home after work and spend time with Jon and the dogs.  And our eventual children.  I'm not looking for people to meet anymore.  I have friends and I have the love of my life.  That's really all I need at this point in my life.  And theatre has been a problem with jobs I've had before, so I'm not really sure I want to do that again.

I do miss performing, though.  I think I need to find a choir or something I can be involved in and get that performance piece without doing theatre.  I'm pretty sure I just made a decision.  I don't think I'm going to dive back in anytime soon.  I want to give as much time as I can to my husband, my hobbies, and my home.  I don't want to be exhausted all the time (which I always am when I'm doing theatre) and I'm tired of the self-esteem highs and lows that come with theatre.  I want to focus on other things - writing, sewing, knitting, and doing other things that make me happy.  So that's the decision.  No auditioning for me this year.  I am just not ready to go back.