Friday, July 01, 2005

Loneliness and hope

There's something sort of lonely about this picture that I never really noticed before. But I was having a conversation with a friend about loneliness this morning and then saw this picture (it's my desktop wallpaper right now) after the conversation was over. There are two solitary figures in the picture. One is the rose in the foreground. When I took the picture, this was the only rose that was still healthy in an entire rose garden that had started to wilt. I can imagine, if flowers feel emotion, that it might have felt lonely. The other solitary figure is the fisherman that you can barely see. He's pulling in a fishing net, probably full of fish. While the fish are not lonely, because there are many of them in the net, they have little hope at this point in their lives. The fisherman is alone, but probably not lonely, since he's out there doing an activity he enjoys. The fisherman is most likely hopeful though, because he's just caught something good for dinner. So that made me start thinking about life, loneliness, and hope. The rose can't have much hope. It has seen its kin wilt and die, and if it has any sense of what's going on (I don't know how much flowers are actually aware of) it knows it will do the same. So the rose is both lonely and has no hope. The fish are not lonely, but they still have no hope. The fisherman is alone, but probably not lonely, and he is hopeful. See where I'm going with this? I think it is entirely possible to be alone and not lonely. But it is also possible to be lonely but hopeful.

Right now, I don't feel lonely at all. I'm actually quite happy with the way my life is going right now. Would I like to have a relationship? Of course, but it's not something I NEED right now. In fact, I will never NEED a relationship. But I do want one at some point. So I guess I'm not lonely and hopeful. I'm just hopeful. I'm hopeful that I will find a special someone one day. A guy who will laugh at my jokes and who will make me laugh. A man who is intelligent and enjoys conversation. A guy with similar tastes, who enjoys entertainment and good company. A man who shares my faith and wants to grow together in that faith. So I'm not looking for much, huh?!

I hope that my friends (the one I talked to today about this and the few others I have had similar conversations with in the last few months) are hopeful, even though they are lonely. I hope they are like the fisherman, who knows he will go home to something good, even if it's just dinner and the TV (or a good book.) I don't want anyone I love to become like the rose, who is both lonely and hopeless, because we all have a future ahead that is full of promise, and none of us will wilt and die anytime soon.

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