A Little Break!

So tonight and tomorrow night will be the first two night break from the theatre in almost a month.  As much as I'm enjoying the run of the show, I'm looking forward to resting these next two nights.  Especially since I'm suffering from vocal strain for the first time in my life.  I know better than to let this happen.  I'm trained to avoid it, but for some reason, probably the number of high notes and the one song that requires a lot of belting, even breathing and singing correctly isn't helping.  Two nights to rest my voice and then five more shows.  I'm not sure I've ever experienced anything as vocally demanding as this show.  It makes me wonder if I can ever actually carry a show myself.  Maybe I'm not cut out for that.  (My dreams of playing Elphaba one day are circling the drain, I guess!)  I'm a little nervous about lasting damage since I've never had this experience before.  I hope my throat heals in time for Wednesday's show and that there is no lasting damage!

I'm enjoying the run of this show so much, though!  The actors are amazing and the crew is top-notch!  I love my "co-star."  He's really just so much fun to be around and to work with.  It has been fun watching him perform.  It has also been fun interacting with the audience, which is something you don't normally do on stage.  We're not just breaking the fourth wall, we're smashing it down and charging right through it!  It's interesting to break convention and really look them in the eye.  I was uncomfortable with it at first, but I'm getting better!  My parents and Noah saw the show Thursday, my best friend Chris saw it Friday, and Jon and his crew (7 people total!) saw it Saturday.  I think that's all my people, unless my sister decides to come sometime next week.

After Sunday, things should get back to normal.  I have so many plans for writing projects and knitting projects and other things I want to do!  There are some professional things I'd like to do, too.  Things that will require some attention and study.  It'll be nice to have time for all that!  And time to see Jon more. He has been so supportive throughout this process and I am so grateful for that.  Now I want to thank him by devoting lots of time to our relationship and showing him just how much I appreciate him being so sweet and supportive.  And this is it for the rest of the year.  No performing at all until 2011, unless something truly amazing comes along in the second half of the year.  Some of the theatres run a different season and haven't announced their fall shows yet.  There may be a fall show I want to be in.  But nothing that will interfere with going to the Sidewalk Film Festival with Chris and probably Jon.  I will not miss it again!

Journal Topics: I Love You

Describe the first time you remember saying "I love you" to someone outside of your family.

I've always been pretty conservative with romantic love and have only really said "I love you" to a couple of guys, and only when I was really sure I loved them.  So the first time I said it to someone outside my family was to a friend.  She was going through a really hard time and I was trying to be there for her.  I didn't know what to say, so I just said that I was there for her and I loved her.  I'm not sure if that helped, but I know that I always feel special when someone says they love me, so I hope it did.  I remember it so clearly.  We were at her house.  She was talking about her family problems and issues with boys and self-esteem.  We were teenagers and of course when you're at that stage of life, everything seems so much bigger than it is.  She was crying and very upset.  It was one of the only times she ever let me hug her.  And so I did - and just told her I loved her and that everything is going to be okay eventually.  To tell the truth, I was completely terrified that she would do something drastic and dangerous to herself.  I don't think my time with her had anything to do with her not hurting herself, but I do like to think I helped a little.  We are not in touch anymore, which happens as you grow up and grow apart, but I think of her often and hope that she is okay.

I say it to my friends and loved ones a lot now.  It's something simple that I can do to make them feel loved and special.  I love to tell people I love them, but only if I mean it! 

I grew up in a very loving household.  My mother especially was extremely loving to us and always said she loved us.  She also loved giving us hugs and letting us sit in her lap.  She is the most motherly, most nurturing person I know and I hope that if I become a mother some day, I will be as loving and nurturing as she was!  I think my attitude about love comes mostly from her and the way she expressed her love for us.

As usual, I've gotten a little off topic, but that's okay.  It was nice to reflect on the different kinds of love and where my attitudes about love come from.  Especially now, after a health scare involving my mother, and with my current relationship going so well, I've been thinking a lot about love and how we tell and show our loved ones what they mean to us.

Opening Night!

So we've done several test shows for audiences of family and friends and the shows have been kind of hit or miss, but overall it's going well!  The show is silly and fun, and I think audiences are really going to enjoy it.  I know we're having fun doing it! 

So if you are in the area and haven't gotten your tickets for Ug, the Caveman Musical, go ahead and do it soon!  We're selling out very quickly!

this is it

Well, we have our first audience tomorrow night.  It's a test audience, invited to watch the rehearsal to help the cast figure out pauses for laughter and stuff like that.  We always do a couple of shows like that and it's extremely helpful, especially for the newer actors.

So the verdict at this point, after tonight's rehearsal, is that we have the potential for a very, very good show.  It's got some rough spots, just like most shows at this point.  And we have two nights to really iron those out.  Well, really three nights since our first paying audience is actually on Friday.  I think we will iron those out pretty quickly under the pressure of actual people not connected to the play watching tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday nights!

I'm a bit nervous about my voice.  It's been hit or miss these last couple of days.  I bought some lemon tea and am drinking it like it will save my life or something.  I don't usually have this problem, but since I've had this strange tickle in my throat for the last few months (not really sure what it is and it's not really annoying enough to go get it checked) I have this horrible fear that I'm going to have to cough right in the middle of one of my ballads!  I really hope that doesn't happen!

So yeah, no pressure and no stress!

It really has been fun, though - and I'm glad I did it.  I'm really looking forward to opening this show and seeing how the audience will react to it, especially to the parts that completely shatter the fourth wall.  That should be a lot of fun!

I'm equally glad it's almost over and I can get my life back very soon!  I miss having free time and I don't like going a week without seeing Jon.  So yeah, it'll be nice to have some free time.

But now is the time to focus on the opening and the run of the show.  I'll give it all I've got, and I know my fellow cast members will do the same!  It has been so much fun working with each of them and I will miss them when it's over.

Journal Topics: What's troubling you?

The next journal topic on the list is an interesting one for today, considering that I've been venting about the thing that has been troubling me most for the last week or so.  But today is different.  Because I'm reading this topic today and because my policy is to do the topic on the day I read it, no matter what is happening in my life.... here we go!

Journal Topic: What's troubling you?

Right now, at this moment, I have an answer that's going to annoy at least several people in my life who hate it when I go on and on about how happy I am.  But I don't really care about how annoyed they get, because I feel like shouting this from the rooftops.  Right now, at this moment.. nothing is troubling me at all.  The issues I've been dealing with - my mom's health, my finances, work, etc... are not troubling me right now.  Happily, my mom is fine, so that's no longer a worry.  Finances are always going to be an issue, but I've decided that worrying about it won't do any good so I'm not going to worry.  Work is getting better.  I'm having one of those amazing moments when I have a feeling of peace that just spreads over my entire life like an umbrella during a rainstorm.  I've been praying for this, and it looks like now I'm getting it.  I'm not sure I've ever really experienced this kind of peace before.  Everything in my life seems to be coming together, for the first time in a long time.  Dare I say it?  I'm truly happy.

I know a huge part of my current happiness is having someone in my life.  I fought loneliness for so long and felt like I would never find anyone.  Now that I have and things are going so well between us, I find that there are possibilities in life that I had pretty much given up on.  I was sure I would never find love, that nobody would look twice to see what's inside rather than what's outside.  But someone did.  And happily, I see in him the same beauty he sees in me.  I've never been this happy in a relationship.  It's amazing.

The other happy parts of my life include a show that's about to go on, great friends, an incredible family, and lots of things to look forward to this year.  I love looking forward to things! 

So I got a little off topic, but that's okay since it's my blog and I can do what I want here!  This was an interesting topic for this moment, but I'm happy to say I answered it honestly.  I'm so grateful that nothing is troubling me right now!

11 days until Opening Night!!

My countdown tells me we have 11 days until opening night!  I'm really excited.  Last night's rehearsal went really well and now we've got ourselves a show!  I'm still looking forward to the time after the play so I will have some free time, but now I'm really looking forward to the run of the show, which is the feeling I usually have at this point.  It's going to be a lot of fun and the audience is going to love it.  And that's what's important!  I'll probably have some photos to share after rehearsal tonight if someone will use my camera to take some.

Rant

Warning: A rant is about to happen.  If you do not want to witness this rant, please do not continue to read this post.  If you don't mind hearing me complain for a moment, you may continue reading.

So we got paid today, which is normally a happy thing.  But there is a cloud over the payday happiness that I can't ignore that is making me angry.  My anger grows every single time I think about it.  Because it's a new year and the tax tables have changed, my check is less.  It's not a salary cut, but it is less money for me to use for frivolous things like groceries and gas, so it kind of feels like a cut, if you know what I mean.  Add to that the fact that our insurance rates have gone up twice since I've been here and I've never gotten a raise and you can see why I'm bitter.

You really have to love working in nonprofit to continue doing it.  That's all I have to say.  Why else would a person struggle to pay bills and still work their butt off if not to help others?  I don't normally focus too much on money, but this is really upsetting.  I wonder what my tax return will look like this year.  It'll probably be a lot less too.  This just sucks.

Balance

As I reflect more and more about the past year, I am coming to an important realization.  I'm not a very balanced person.  No, this doesn't mean I'm unbalanced in the mental health sense - although I'm sure I have friends who would say that is the case!  What it means is that tend to throw everything into whatever I'm doing and neglect everything else for that one thing until I crash and burn.  This is a habit I would like to break this year by achieving balance in all areas of my life.  So the best way to do that (I think) is to list all the parts of life that I think are important and figure out how to balance them so that nothing is neglected.  So here they are, in no particular order:

Relationships

Spiritual

Theatre

Writing

Knitting

Reading

Career

Learning

Recreation/Entertainment

Exercise

I guess some of these speak for themselves, huh?  : )  So how does one achieve balance with this many things going on??  Well, by limiting the time spent on any one of these, maybe?  Everything in moderation, right?  That's my new motto.  I think it's a great thing to live with passion, but an overwhelming passion for one thing can really overshadow other important things in your life and can just take over.  So the goal is to achieve balance so that no one thing takes over any of the others.  It'll be interesting to see if I can do this!

A Habitat Home for Christmas

short stories

I want to focus on some short stories in the coming months.  Short stories and flash fiction (which are even shorter stories) have never been my strong point.  I have a hard time with "slice of life" pieces, mainly because I like to include so much detail that it's hard to stop when the wordcount starts getting too high.  But one thing I've noticed while looking back on 2009 and my productivity (or lack thereof) is that I haven't been committed to writing different things.  I haven't been committed to writing at all.  I have a few ideas for short stories that really couldn't be anything longer - so I will hopefully be safe from the tendency to over-write.  These are not for publication.  They are simply to flex my writing muscles again and start slowly exercising the creative part of my brain as I ease back into a writing routine. 

So stay tuned for some short stories - after January, of course!  I may try to write one each month, just to give myself something different to work on while I do Draha and look for some paid articles and other writing jobs.

Wildlife.. sort of!

This is long overdue, but I was looking through my photos from our June 2009 trip to Disney World and found this one.  It was taken at the Animal Kingdom on the safari ride and features one of my favorite animals.  I just thought it would be fun to share this photo.

Making Ug progress

So we're off book now and things are starting to come together.  I love this part!  A few weeks from opening night, the costumes are being finished, the set is nearly complete, and we're talking about hair and makeup.  These are all things that make the excitement rise, that make the adrenaline rush, and that make us do what we do over and over again.

After all, why suffer so much unless you love something, right?  And suffer is not a dramatic word, really.  When you do community theatre, you really do devote your life to something for about three months.  This show has been in rehearsal since November and closes at the end of January.  And while I really enjoy it, I do really treasure nights without rehearsal.  Mostly because they are so rare!

Our light/sound guy came last night and played with the board a little.  It was cool to see the lights go on and off while we worked on scenes.  Tonight we're working Act 2, so that'll be fun.  Most of my challenging stuff happens in Act 1, so tonight should be a little easier.

So we open January 22.  Photos and more reports are coming.  Stay tuned.

New face for Snapshots of Life

So I found a good template and have been working on customizing it.  For those of you who are reading this on Facebook, go here: http://anitahavelsblog.blogspot.com/ to see the new face of Snapshots of Life, the blog I've maintained since 2003.  I really like this template and am going to have a lot of fun tweaking it some more to add all the cool stuff I like to include in my sidebars.

Anyway, here it is!  Let me know what you think!

Under Construction

Please pardon the mess while I choose a new blog template and customize it.  This space may be very ugly for a little while!  But come back soon and see the new face of Snapshots of Life (in pictures and words)

Happy New Year!

I haven't actually made any resolutions this year, but I am making a commitment to post here more often.  I looked at my 2009 post count and it kind of made me sad.  I've been neglecting this poor blog and have decided to post more this year.

Welcome to 2010.  I know, the year is already a few days old, but the last few days have been kind of a blur for me so now that I'm back in the routine of everything, I'm taking a moment to think about what I want to accomplish in 2010.  I think it's okay to do this now, rather than on the very first day of the year.  It's okay to reflect for a few days before making these grand statements about what you want to do, right?

So here it is: my plan for 2010.  Things I want to accomplish.  Not resolutions, but goals. 
- Finish Draha outlines and start book 1 (for real this time!)
- Complete log cabin blanket
- Get more exercise
- Spend more time with loved ones
- Amend some of my 101 in 1001 goals (some no longer apply)
- Try something new once a month (this is a longstanding goal that has made my life so interesting in the last 10 years or so.  I do it every year and it's really great!)