Saturday, January 12, 2008

Stepping Out

I'm working on a new project. I have to stop doing this - I see a pattern that I love and I immediately start on it without finishing the one I was trying to finish! I guess it's a good way to keep from getting bored, but it's also a way to ensure I'll never finish the ones I'm trying to finish! It's a good thing I don't approach work projects this way! Anyway, here's what I'm working on right now. It's the Branching Out scarf, and I have crazy love for the pattern. Can you spot the place where I got off the line I was supposed to be reading in the pattern? It looks a little wrong in one place, but I still think it's pretty!

Finally got the new Internet connection to work correctly. It was on my end, the cable from the main connection to the modem was too long and the Internet kept dropping out at random intervals and not coming back until it felt like it. It was frustrating, but now that the problem has been solved, I should be able to post regularly again. Thank goodness, because I was really getting annoyed with the spotty connection.

I posted some ads on Craigslist for my grant writing services yesterday. Speaking of grant writing, I also taught a class on it Thursday as part of my job and at the end I gave my information and told the people if they needed someone to write for them to contact me for a meeting. Several people came to talk to me after the class, letting me know that they would be in touch. I've been working on a couple of short stories and some other smaller projects. I tried poetry again, but it just didn't work out. I was inspired to write a poem while walking on a nature trail on New Year's Day with my parents. My dad went ahead to take pictures of birds and my mother and I walked together along the trail. We came to a fork in the trail and I started quoting "The Road Not Taken," then moved on to some Walt Whitman selections that I thought were appropriate. My mother said she wanted to start reading poetry more, that she always enjoyed it but didn't have a book of poetry or anything, so I brought her my Anthology of American Verse the next day. I haven't asked if she's been reading it, but I'm sure she has. But anyway, since that day, I've wanted to write a poem, but I just can't make it happen.

I have five more weeks in my current position, which means five weeks to find something new. I've sent my resume to an average of one job per day for the last couple of weeks, so there are some prospects out there. There are a couple of opportunities that I prefer over the others, but I'll be happy with any of them.

I've come to the conclusion that no matter what happens, I've remained true to my ethics and faith, and that's what counts in the end. I've been listening to the Old Testament while driving to and from work for the last several weeks. I've discovered something that I never thought about before, even though I've heard the stories all my life. There is always a moment in the lives of God's children when he asks them to step out in faith. When the incident happened at work and I went back to my desk to think about what I was going to do, the words "step out in faith" came into my mind. I'm usually so responsible... always want to have my ducks in a row before stepping out to do anything. This time, I didn't. I felt it was important to step and see what happened next. I find myself praying a lot lately about the future and what is going to happen in the next five weeks. Although it is less about the money and more about me being happy, I do need to make a certain amount to continue paying my bills. I keep having these moments of panic, thinking I won't find a job within the time allotted and will have to figure something out. It is in these moments that I have to stop and pray. It's always worked for me before, so I can't - no, I won't - stop believing in it now. And if something doesn't come up within the next five weeks, I have to believe there is a reason for it.

1 comment:

  1. You did the right thing for YOURSELF, and I'm glad that your faith gives you peace of mind in your decision. I've got my eyes and ears open for you, my Anita!