I hate days now. Every week day stretches out in front of me with nothing to do, no purpose and no focus and no way to contribute to society. I have decided that unemployment is so much more than just not having money. It's not really having a purpose - an identity. Especially if you are like me and part of who you are is wrapped up in what you do.
I became a nonprofit development/public relations specialist because I wanted to help people. Having lost the second job I've had in the field two weeks ago, I feel like I have no way to help.
Sure, I have had a few interviews, and yes, I've tried to stay positive about everything and yes, there are other parts of my life that are very, very positive. But not having a job is really hard for me.
I love nights. I can be with people I love who also love me. Nights are interesting and fun. But the days... well, it's hard not to sink into depression or something when your days have no purpose. I'm not sure how people deal with longterm unemployment, especially if they don't have children to occupy their time.
I've been spending my days mostly trolling job boards online and applying for anything that sounds at all appropriate, and of course going to the few interviews I've managed to land. But that's only part of a day. I've been watching a lot of TV and talking with my roommate a lot and playing on the computer a lot. I should be exercising, but I can't seem to have enough energy to get off the couch most days.
I need to find a job quickly, before I lose my mind. I am not good with this much alone time - this much leisure time. I should be writing or doing something else productive, but I can't manage to do that either. I try. Oh, I have tried many many times. But I can't manage to do it. In fact, this is the most I've written since losing my job on April 15. And now it's May 4. And I'm still unemployed. And not sure what the future will bring. Which, of course, is terrifying.