Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Dear Nathan (3 years old)

Dear Nathan,

How is this even possible?  My heart, my love, my little baby.  You are 3 years old!  Time flies when you're having fun - it's so true.  Since you came screaming into our lives, time has gone so quickly.  When I think about the last three years, I can't help thinking the next three years are going to go just as quickly.  Then you will be 6.  And then three more years and you will be 9.  It's almost too much to bear, to think of you growing up so quickly.  To think of you being 6, or 9, or 12... or 21.  It's scary and sad and exhilarating all at the same time. 

I can see pieces of the you that you are going to become - and that person is remarkable.  The way you look at me with such love.  The way you are so gentle with your brother and with the dogs.  The way your eyes and nose crinkle when you're being funny or smiling your giant cheesy smile.  Your brain is amazing.  Having conversations with you, hearing your jokes, the unbelievable comments that come out of your mouth, are some of my favorite things in the entire world. 

You are, and always will be my heart, my love, and my first baby.  The boy who made me a mother.  The sweet baby who nuzzled your face into my chest and the big, bold, boisterous boy who crawls up into my lap and lays his head on my shoulder.  And when you are 6, or 9, or 12 or whatever, I want you to know you can always come to me.  You can always trust me.  You can always tell me whatever is on your mind.  Because you are my boy.  And I am your mommy.  Today, and always. 

Happy birthday, little love. 

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