Okay, so it's not totally original. But it is actually a quote from something. Yet another Firefly quote... are you really shocked to see another one? By now you should know I'm obsessed. But anyway, a bounty hunter who was trying to capture River ends up floating in space at the end of the last episode, "Objects in Space." He says the words, "Well, here I am..." as he's floating into the oblivion of space. That's sort of how I feel at the moment.
Well, here I am. I enjoy my life very much, but it's not much of a life, if you know what I mean. I go to work, I come home, I play around on my computer while watching TV, I go to bed, I get up, I go to work, etc. On weekends, I spend time with my family, which is good, but I don't do anything else. Not really. I've been thinking a lot lately about how I can shake things up a bit. You know, just force myself to change. I need to step out of my comfort zone and really challenge myself to be in new and exciting situations. I found a church I want to visit. I have never been very comfortable going somewhere by myself. I don't eat alone in restaurants and I don't go to movies alone. For some reason, the idea makes me feel like a pathetic loser or something. But it's not true. Losers are people who let the fact that they are not with someone keep them from doing the things they enjoy. I will not allow that to happen to me anymore. Just because my friends are in different cities or are unavailable, that doesn't mean I can't go to a movie, to a play, or visit a new church. So I'm going to go to that church. And this coming Thursday, I'm going to go see Star Wars III by myself. Just because no one in my family likes Sci-Fi doesn't mean I should miss out. :)
So hopefullyl in a month or so, I will be posting about all the exciting things I've been doing instead of the fact that I'm just "here." We have such a short time on this earth, so why should we waste that time sitting around at home when there is so much to do, so much to experience, and so many people to meet? I, for one, do not want to miss anything.
Oh, how I agree and understand what you are feeling right now. It seems as if the last months of my life have been dedicated to mastering the art of accepting defeat and managing bad luck.
ReplyDelete"Rote" is best word to describe my life these days. I congratulate myself on having done well if I can resist unloading my negative emotions on Todd upon arriving home. The classic and all-too-familiar "no one will hire this silly dummy" feeling has set in.
Together, we are in search of adventure. I plan on barbarically YAWPing after another few months.