Sunday, July 29, 2012

Not all sunshine and rainbows...

This is the text from an email I sent to a friend who had a baby several months ago.  She asked me how I've been feeling and boy, did I let her have it!  I will say this: overall, pregnancy has been pretty awesome.  But yeah, it's not all sunshine and rainbows.

I'm completely miserable, lol.  Feeling very overwhelmed right now with everything we still need to do.  There are boxes and there is random furniture all around the house.  And while I know I need to unpack some when I get home, I just feel so exhausted when I get home that I want to sit still for a few hours and then go to sleep.  

But then I can't sleep.  It's just too uncomfortable.  And I can't sit for a long time or stand for a long time or lay down for a long time.  My back hurts, my legs hurt, and I think my knees are swollen.  I've never been this heavy and my body hates me for it.  And my boobs have started hurting again.  My sinuses are constantly swollen, so I can't breathe through my nose, which means I have a constant sore throat from mouth-breathing at night under the ceiling fan.  But I need the ceiling fan because I'm always extremely hot.  Like an "I want to take off all my clothes and lay in a bathtub filled with ice" kind of hot.  And when I do manage to get comfortable enough to go to sleep, I have awful dreams where I wake up and am covered in blood and Jon just looks at me and says "it's not a big deal, go back to sleep."  

My head hurts all the time now too.  Not sure what that's about.  I'm bored with everything at work and it's torture sitting here pretending to care.  Because I really, really don't care about anything at this point.  The dogs are irritating me to no end.  Every time Simon barks in the house I want to scream.  

I'm honestly surprised Jon hasn't been sleeping at the rental house.  I've turned into preggosaurus.  

What's funny is, I know it's all worth it.  And I know it is worse for some women than it has been for me.  So I'm trying to keep all that in perspective.  I do sometimes daydream about being able to go to sleep now and wake up in October, just in time for delivery.  But then who would make the crib quilt and the knit blanket and the curtains for the nursery, not to mention some of the wall art I really want to do?  And who would help Jon unpack all the boxes?  So yeah, it's not the most fun time right now, but it's temporary and I know it will all go away soon.

Vent over.  Lol.

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