Thursday, August 22, 2013
Seeking Mommy Friends
"But Anita," you'll say. "You HAVE friends."
Yes, I know I do and they are amazing. I love my friends. But I need a specific kind of friend right now - Mommy friends. I do have a couple of these friends and they are awesome. But their kids are either older or younger than Nathan, and at this stage, it's hard to let them play together unless they are at least at similar developmental stages. I know, for example, that he would steamroll right over my dear friend Jestina's sweet baby girl. So we have to wait awhile before they can spend any time together. But my baby spends no time with other babies, and now he is really noticing other babies at stores and restaurants, and it makes me realize something is missing from his life.
So what did I do when I came to this conclusion? I did what I always do - research! I found a couple of mommy groups in my area and was completely excited about going and trying them out! Until I saw that dreaded sentence on their websites: "A supportive group for Stay At Home Moms."
What? So working mothers are not allowed at their evening meetings? Don't get me wrong, I completely understand the need for a support group for stay at home moms. I know it's hard to spend every day with a tiny person who doesn't talk (or does, but doesn't make any sense) with no adult company other than the TV, so I applaud groups that offer daytime playdates for moms who stay at home and their kids.
But... there are so many working moms who, while they do have the luxury of adult company during the day, they also would like to talk with someone who can feel their pain about dirty diapers, purees flying through the air during dinner time, and all the other things that all mothers deal with on a daily basis.
Why exclude those who have a different routine, when you have meetings that they could actually join because they are in the evenings?
This hurt me more than I can say, because I was hoping to find some friends in these groups, some people I could talk to and some kids that Nathan could play with. But nope - I'm a working mom (say that with as much disdain as you can, because I'm sure that's how the members of these groups say it) so I'm not worthy of their group.
So here I am, trying to figure out other ways to find mommy friends. I know lots of people who have had babies in the past year or so, and have even put the idea out there that we should have a get-together, but nobody really responded positively. It's depressing. So if you're a mom to a kid who's old enough (or big enough) to hang out with Nathan without him hurting them (he's just really full-speed-ahead right now and I fear that would overwhelm a small or young baby!) and you are near me, please, send me a message.
I feel like I'm failing him by not providing friends for him to play with and I need to fix that.